Lines Blur, Walls Crumble
by Creatively Licensed B
Summary: In a different world, their baby that she kept had his smile. Nickelly. For LCTD Attempt #2.


Disclaimer: Don't own!

A/N: Kelly on the show is so awkward and I am so amused and captivated whenever she's on screen, but I always imagined her darker and grittier and so I wrote this. I'm just fucked up like that.

**-BB-**

_For LCTD and redemption for the piece of shit I wrote her round 1. Happy Birthday, Bizatch! _

**-BB-**

* * *

**Lines Blur, Walls Crumble **

In Denver, a baby wrapped in blue, wails as his father stares off. Dark. Angry. Sad. The father makes no effort to put an end to his son's shrieks, too deep in his emotion, focused on the glowing taillights of a taxi and the woman inside, her suitcase in the trunk. The child cries and cries and the woman gets farther and farther away.

_Nicky_, she would coo to the infant. _Don't cry, baby, mommy's here. Always here._

A lie changed their world in seconds. Long enough to cement his heart shut. The father does what he can. He erases her. He erases _Nicky_. _Nicholas_ is much more masculine, more dignified. Anything less is unacceptable.

…

Not too long after, same hospital, a baby in pink, with soft dark hair and big eyes, doesn't make a sound. Just how mother wants her. Quiet perfection from the get-go. Her father is in shambles, fingernail marks bruised into his arm. The mother pays him no attention. She only has eyes for her baby girl.

"We're naming her Kelly." Sheila never asks, simply tells. "She's going to be so, so beautiful."

…

Circles cross at work functions. Boy meets girl for the first time. Well, not really.

They're babies, in their father's arms, posing for a photo. Jokes of future matchmaking, a far off wedding and the unstoppable genetic combination of Parker and Russo mingle with the laughter and the small talk and the champagne.

Children. Commodities. Damned from the start.

…

Her mom tells her she's going to be a star, dresses her up, chasing rhinestone crowns and cash prizes. Listen to mommy, Kelly. Smile for mommy. Mommy knows best. Her dad doesn't argue. To argue he'd have to be around and, well, he never is. Not enough.

His father tells him to stop climbing on the monkey bars and gives him a book instead. Nicky reads it, cover to cover, but then he's back at it. He listens to his father, but at the same time, doesn't. His aunt tells him he's like his mother in that way. His father stops talking to his aunt.

…

Beauty pageants (her mom forces her into) are her gateway drug into gymnastics.

He finds his love by accident. He sees it on TV one day. It takes seconds. He's hooked.

…

Their dads are friends. Both competitive. Something passed down through blood. Same hospital. Different specialties. Another party. But this time it's different. They're a little older and a lot curious.

"Wow, Russo, look at your kid. He's growing up." Dr. Parker holds his hand out and the boy shakes it firmly. "Look at you, Little Nicholas Russo. Surgeon hand, I'm sure."

His father bubbles over with pride. It's a first.

"Actually, sir, it's _Nicky_," the boy says. It's what his mom wrote in his baby book and he likes it. He wishes he had an opinion of her, but doesn't. "And I like gymnastics."

The men in their black and white suits, with their crystal champagne flutes and snobby wives, all burst with laughter. Pride so easily turns to scorn.

"Gymnastics, huh? My daughter's a gymnast. Kelly, come here!"

The girl rips her arm from her mother's hold and scurries to her father. Seeing her tiny heels and her frilly dress, Nicky doesn't understand her. She's around his age, a kid, but she has a face painted like an adult. She stares at him, just as intrigued because he's a boy and he's a gymnast and there are no boy gymnasts at her gym.

"Do you wear a leotard too?" Kelly asks. More laughter. Dr. Russo orders another scotch.

Dr. Parker laughs again, elbowing his colleague, who nearly spills his drink. "Guess I'll be sitting next to you at the 2012 Olympics, huh, Russo?"

The room roars again, but Nicky tunes it out, holds onto his dream before it rides off with their laughter. He glares at the girl, who just stares at him in return.

Boy meets girl. A line is drawn. And this is where it begins.

…

Orthopedics deals with pain. Back pain. Spinal pathology. Deformity. Fracture. All lead to loss if not treated. Dr. Russo alleviates the suffering of his patients. It takes commitment and trust. He has no time for his silly son and his even sillier gymnastics.

"Dad!" Nicky shouts. Tears fill his adolescent eyes. "Dad! Dad! Dad!"

"Nicholas, I'm on the phone!"

"It's my shoulder!"

One sudden jerk and an awkward arm position was all it took. Stretching, ripping, detaching. Muscles in spasms. Pain.

Finally, conversation over, Dr. Russo comes to see what the fuss is about.

"I was practicing my—"

Bend. Grunt. Rotate. Wince. His shoulder pops back into the shoulder joint. Immediate relief.

"You need to be careful, Nicholas! Each time it dislocates, the easier it is to dislocate again," his father tells him. "There's Ibuprofen in the bathroom. 800 mg should be sufficient. And I'll need to do a follow up with you in a few days."

"Thanks, dad," Nicky says softly.

"It wouldn't have happened if you'd just quit it."

The judgment. The emphasis. _Just. Quit. It._

His phone rings before he can go into the typical "you're too smart for this crap" lecture he loves so much. It must be important because Dr. Russo skips over it and gets back to the grind, back to his office, his work, his true love. They don't talk for the rest of the day.

The next time Nicky dislocates his shoulder, he grinds his teeth through the pain and resists the tears. Nicky looks it up online and pops it back himself.

…

Kelly hates business dinners.

Her mom loves them, dazzling with her picture-painting words and sequence blazers. Her father is missing—surgery like always. Halfway through, Kelly can't bring herself to keep up the charade. It's stupid.

"Mom, I want to go home."

"Baby, darling, precious. We have them right where we want them. Just keep smiling."

"But, mom—"

"Beauty, I'm doing this for _you_. _Your_ future. You should be grateful."

"I am, but—"

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

All the time. That's all she gets from her mom. Pet names and compliments on her looks.

"When I'm done with you, sweetie, you're going to be a star. A household name! It's what you've always wanted, isn't it? And I'll be so proud. So proud of my gorgeous girl."

Kelly doesn't know what she wants, but finds herself back to sitting and smiling even when it hurts because that's when she looks prettiest. That's when mommy loves her most.

…

These showy work functions get old fast.

The Parkers boast about Kelly's gymnastics future. Dr. Russo never mentions Nicky's.

Thirteen and bored, Nicky sits and plays with his tie. Loud sobs draw his attention in time to see a young blonde run off in tears and Kelly Parker with a satisfied smirk. Harmless on the outside, vicious underneath, just like her mom. At least, that's how his dad put it.

"Why are you so mean?" Nicky calls out to her. They don't talk much. She's always in the spotlight at these things and Nicky is always pushed to the back. When the girl notices him, her gaze is sharp, like the scope of a gun.

"Butt out, loser."

Nicky rolls his eyes. Girls and their fighting words.

He almost walks away, but then she says, "You're that boy gymnast from the Rock."

He smirks, not as professionally adult as her, but getting there. "You've heard of me?"

"Just that you go to the loser gym."

Nicky glowers. People always tell him he's making wrong choices. People are dumb. "Why'd you make that girl cry?"

Kelly's shoulders rise and fall. "I knew I could so I did it."

He doesn't get her logic, but before he can ask, her mom comes over, shouting at her for breathing without permission. Kelly is so small and so timid with her mom towering over her. Nicky wonders if Kelly would make her mother cry if she could. Sheila latches onto Kelly's tiny wrist and drags her away. Nicky never asks her why she's so mean again.

…

When her parents get divorced (not much of a shocker), her dad takes her hand and smiles gently and tells her that it's going to be okay, that he won't disappear from her life and maybe she's optimistic or just naive, but she believes him.

She never tells anyone, but she's happy her mom doesn't try to change her last name. Sheila reasons that everyone already knows _Kelly Parker_ as a force to be feared. The way Kelly sees it, keeping his last name is like always having a piece of him with her.

The Parkers stop attending company parties and she forgets all about Little Nicky Russo.

…

How could he forget Kelly Parker?

Her name and her face are everywhere after she takes Nationals _and_ Worlds. Even when the thumbs up and hair in buns become her signatures, Nicky always remembers her as the girl in the embellished dresses, who lived life by "I knew I could so I did."

…

When Nicky comes to Denver, Kelly is obligated to torment him. She's queen of the castle. He's from enemy camp. What's unexpected is the more she tries to break him, the more respect she has for him when he refuses to give in. It's inevitable that they'd fall in line, the two strongest gymnasts at Denver Elite. They don't become _friend_, but he knows what it's like to fall short and be ready to kill for gold. He's the other side of her silver coin.

He doesn't talk to anyone, but her. The others assume he thinks he's too good for them. Kelly knows Nicky Russo isn't a social creature. He doesn't know _how_ to be. When it comes to her, he doesn't let her get away with anything like everyone else. He calls her out, just like when they were kids. Kelly isn't sure how she feels about it.

One day when she's being particularly bitchy, out of control with her tricks and completely disregarding the safety of others and herself, Nicky drags out of the gym and calmly tells her, "You need to control your emotions."

Her eyes widen, on the brink of an overload. "What the fuck, Nick!"

He shakes his head at, disappointed almost, and it pisses her off even more. "You're being careless and that isn't you," Nicky says. He pegs her so hard, so unexpectedly, that the impulse to strike him disappears. "You want to tell me what's wrong?"

They don't do this. They don't talk outside of teasing each other and gymnastics.

"It's nothing."

"Fine, whatever," Nicky says. "Just know you're being crazy and you're scaring everyone."

She rolls her eyes. "Let them be scared of me."

"No, not like, run away and hide scared. Scared like you might hurt yourself and die," he says. There are few things more amusing than Nicky Russo trying to be serious and sounding so dramatic. "I can't speak for every other female gymnast out there, but I don't want to see you die. You're too good for that. You've worked too hard."

"Wow, Russo, I didn't know you cared so much about me."

"No, I'm not, I mean, all I'm saying…" He talks himself in circles like a puppy chasing its tail. "Everyone does. I'm just the only one willing to tell you to your face."

She doesn't believe it for a second. Kelly's flattered, really. It isn't a compliment on how attractive she is, just _her_. Literally saying _thank you_ might make her just as flustered as he is so she doesn't try to. Kelly just rises up on her tiptoes and rests her hand on his shoulder as she kisses him.

When she sees his entire face turn red, Kelly smirks. "Nick, control your emotions."

Kelly laughs as she walks back to the gym, feeling like her head is so much clearer. Meanwhile, Nicky hangs back, trying to pull himself together.

Girl kisses boy. The edges start to blur.

…

Nicky finds the wedding invitation a few days later. Kelly's dad is getting remarried. Obviously, expecting his dad to mention this is asking too much. Nicky figures that's what set her off. He can't exactly blame her.

_I know about the wedding. Are you okay?_

Nicky stares at the text before he sends it. Too straight forward? Would it make her more upset? Will she even reply? He has no clue. He thinks back to his previous experience with girls, ones who reject him and send him running. Still, no clue. Screw it. He hits send.

It doesn't take her long to text back with general directions. And he doesn't think twice before going to find her. Turns out to be a random park with a jungle gym. Kelly sits atop it and Nicky joins her.

"I met her a few times. His fiancée. She's hot," Kelly says. "Tall, blonde, leggy. Her kids call him _dad_. My mom pretends she doesn't care, hides behind her work, my career. I know I should be happy for him, but I hate that it feels like he's found better than us, me."

"But he still wants to be apart of your life, right?"

"So he says."

"My mom didn't," Nicky volunteers. Kelly tears her eyes from the moon and looks at him. "My dad doesn't talk about it, but my aunt told me. My mom just…wasn't happy so she made a change. I was maybe a couple months old?"

"That's horrible."

"It's better than her staying, unhappy, making my dad unhappy, making me watch. I don't know. Maybe that's what I tell myself to deal. But your dad wants to try. That's something?"

"You're strangely optimistic."

Nicky chuckles. "I probably would have quit gymnastics a long time ago if I wasn't."

It almost scares him when she reaches for his hand.

"So, I kissed you."

Nicky presses his lips together, so frazzled at the memory. "Yeah. That was…unexpected."

"Was it okay?"

Nicky grins, seeing her uncertain for maybe the first time as long as he's known her. He tries to play it cool and shrugs. "Like I said, it was unexpected. But, uh, yes? I—I liked it."

Kelly laughs. "You sound _so_ convincing."

"I mean it," he insists, a tab more confident. "I wouldn't complain if it happened again."

Nicky didn't mean it as a cue, jus honesty, but Kelly takes it as one and shifts closer. When she leans in, her mouth searching for his in the dark, Nicky lays his hand on her shoulder before anything happens. "Wait, Kelly, I don't want…"

"I'm not kissing you because I'm messed up over my dad. I'm kissing you because I want to."

Because she knows she can and will. She's still that same girl and he's still that same boy, but they don't even see the dividing line anymore, especially with eyes closed and lips touching.

…

They start playing this game where they see how many different places they can make out and not get caught in Denver Elite. The utility closet is such a cliché, but it works. The Kelly Parker Mobile on afternoons when her mom has lunch with Ellen Beals is a favorite. They get adventurous, but never careless. At least, they don't think.

The thing about playing games, though, is someone always loses.

…

He doesn't have condoms. (Never thought he'd need them.)

She says it's okay. (It's not).

…

Maybe they shouldn't have crossed that line.

The thought only strikes Nicky after they have sex for the third time and Kelly starts avoiding him. It was strange every time with awkward fumbling and even worse, _the sounds_ in the dark. It wasn't aggressive or lustful enough to be considered _fucking_ but it wasn't exactly _making love_ either. Nicky doesn't know what love is and everyone says that, but he hasn't been shown what love is either. He knows it's the same with Kelly. He knows it sucked the first time, but he thinks he's getting better at it. Then she stops talking to him.

"Kelly!" Nicky jogs up to her. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Nothing. Can we talk later? I'm supposed to be somewhere right now."

"You mean, anywhere that isn't near me?" Nicky doesn't know why she looks so shocked that he can tell. "If this is about the other night, look, I'm sorry. You were vulnerable after your dad's wedding and I should have known better. I…I just need to know that we're okay."

Her face says no. Not at all. "Nick, I really need to go."

Kelly leaves before he can react. Nicky doesn't know what to do with the hurt. He can't Google it and pop it back in. This feels worse than what happened with Payson and Kaylie combined. Maybe it's because his heart was actually in this one. Maybe it's because he actually considered _love_ and it sucks that she so obviously didn't.

…

He leaves Denver because she makes him.

There's a reason animals are kept in cages at the zoo. When Nicky starts to get too close, Kelly can't take it. She makes a fool out of him in front of everyone at DE. She doesn't just senselessly yell at him. She targets his weak spots.

"_Take a hint! Payson didn't want you. Kaylie didn't want you. Guess what? I don't want you." _

That's what it means to open up to someone. You give them what they need to break you.

"_God, you're so sad, Russo. Your own mom didn't want you." _

Girl _destroys_ boy. Boy leaves.

The line between them is replaced with a wall.

The night his plane takes off, Kelly locks herself in the bathroom. Shower on, a poor attempt to mask the way she shatters. Tears are all she sees. She makes this horrid, gasping sounds because her lungs reject the air. Even her lungs are disgusted, thinks she should suffer for what she did and what she will do. Kelly curls up on the bathroom floor, painfully scattered.

All because of what's in the trash. And the two pink lines. Positive. Pregnant.

…

His dad doesn't ask him why he wants to leaves nor does he protest. Nicky knows his dad just writes him off as a lost cause, takes after mom. The longer Nicky sits alone in his condo in Dallas, the more he starts to realize he can't hate his mother. Maybe she had it right.

…

Her mom fixes it. In Sheila, Kelly trusts.

Her ankle has always given her problems. Everyone knows it. Yes, they'll use that.

Kelly will have to miss the meet in France. She might even miss the world team trial. But those are distant problems and no doubt Sheila will find a solution or make one. So when Sheila says abortion is the only option, Kelly doesn't flinch. It's a small sacrifice (fuck, she hates that word) for the bigger picture. Because Kelly Parker is a fucking star and she isn't ready to burn out. Not yet.

Her heart races and her hands sweat. The doctor, detached and professional, talks her through it—uterus this, speculum that. All blurs. Kelly doesn't think the sedative is working. She isn't relaxed. Far from it.

Inserting, injecting, stretching, more inserting, suction, emptying, killing, killing, killing.

Kelly bites her bottom lip until she tastes blood. Like metal. Like _medal_. Like her dream. But as she shuts her eyes and waits for it to end, she doesn't think about being in London with gold. She thinks of Nicky's lazy smile, still half asleep, when they'd have their little talks outside Denver Elite every morning, waiting for Marty to unlock the doors.

(In a different world, their baby that she kept had his smile.)

…

Nicky wants to call her. _All the time._

It makes him feel weak. It makes him feel just as sad as she said he is. Kelly burned him. She made him cry in his car for an hour a block away from Denver Elite. She made him leave his home state, his mentor, his gym and her.

Despite everything, Nicky catches himself thinking about her, wondering. Sheila is horrible and if Kelly isn't telling him about it, then who? He just wants to hear her voice even if is to tell him to fuck off. He wants her when it's fact that she doesn't want him. It's sick. He's sick. He knows, but still misses her.

Eventually, he gets to this point where he'll drive himself insane if he doesn't let go. Nicky stares at her name in his contacts on his phone and deletes it. He knows it's stupid to think that's all it takes to forget her. It doesn't matter if he deletes her number because he already has it memorized, burned into his head and carved into his heart.

…

Her dad doesn't look at her the same anymore.

Because of it, Kelly makes excuses to stop spending weekends at his house. _Gymnastics stuff_.

He doesn't question or argue.

…

Nicky starts hearing rumors about Kelly and Carter Anderson. He doesn't like it, but there's nothing he can do about it.

Around the same time he starts noticing this girl who's always smiling at him and being friendly. She's blonde like Payson and dainty like Kaylie and nothing like Kelly. His anxiety surges when he realizes he's never _tried_ to be with someone. With Kelly, it was like they just unexpectedly and violently crashed into each other, mangled pieces that tangled in this beautiful, destructive wreck.

Despite his nerves, Nicky asks the girl out. She smiles and says yes, so polite and sweet. She tells him her life story throughout dinner; came from a happy, well-adjusted family and does gymnastics because she thinks it's fun. She kisses him at the end of the date, just a peck on the lips and tells him to call her, but Nicky never does.

It was all too easy, clean and uncomplicated. That girl is everything he should want, but doesn't. No challenge. A bore.

That's when he realized how much Kelly Parker really fucked him up.

…

It kills her to see him at Worlds and have to maintain their distance. He looks hardened, so much colder. Kelly wants to run up and swat his shoulder, smirk and tell him to chill the fuck out. But she can't. She can still see the dents in his armor, the ones she inflicted and can't take back. Kelly knows that if he doesn't already hate her, he will when he finds out what she did. And Kelly promises herself that he never will.

It's fine if they pretend the other doesn't exist because she has Rock girl shit to work through. Love. Friendship. Kelly doesn't know why she strives for what she can't have.

World Champion _is _something she can have. She knows it and she takes it.

…

Kelly Parker wins. Nicky had no doubt that she would.

He doesn't medal. What else is new?

"You got robbed," Kelly says. They're both in the hotel lobby, waiting for an elevator.

Nicky nods stiffly. "Congrats."

"Thanks," she says. "Listen, Nick…"

"I, uh, I have to go."

Nicky keeps his eyes low the entire exchange except for an eighth of a second when he steals a glance at her. Kelly looks so hurt and Nicky feels so angry. What fucking right does she have? None.

Nicky turns his back on her and takes the stairs.

…

Kelly fires her mom as her manager. There's screaming and tears, but she knows she needs this. She's friggin' World Champion. She's stronger now. She sees the control and uses it. When she walks into Denver Elite the next morning, Marty has the biggest grin waiting for her. He holds his hand out and Kelly rolls her eyes (but smiles) and gives him his damn high-five.

…

The fact that Kelly is going to be there shouldn't change how he feels about the USATC. Nicky should be overjoyed for the opportunity, not dreading awkward run-ins at the dining hall, which is exactly what happens. He walks in, sees her, and walks back out. _Smooth_.

"Nick, wait!"

He doesn't.

"Nicky Russo, don't run from me like a little bitch!"

"What?" He's aware of how childish he sounds. The dramatic way he turns to face her doesn't help either. Kelly comes to an abrupt halt in front of him. Her hair is done in pigtails that hang over each shoulder. What's up with that?

"Hi," she says. Nicky stares, confused and maybe a little scared. "Can we talk?"

"Why?"

"Because I was a bitch to you—totally unnecessary—a-and…I'm sorry."

He takes a step back, away from her, unsure. "What?"

"Are you seriously going to make me say it again?" Kelly snaps. She looks around before grabbing his sleeve and dragging him away from the crowds. "Look, I see how you walk out of a room every time because I'm there and you shouldn't have to. So I'm apologizing and hoping we can put it past us."

"Do you even remember what you said to me?"

That none of the girls he wants ever wants him. Then she slapped him with the mom card.

"If you can't forgive me or don't want anything to do with me from now on, I understand," Kelly says. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I was in a really weird place and took it out on you when you didn't deserve that." She shrugs, too damn cute for her own good. "I messed up, I know, but it wasn't always bad. We were almost friends once, weren't we?"

Sure. Before the kissing and the sex and how she ripped his heart out.

"You think it should be that simple?" he asks. He doesn't.

"Do you really want to make it difficult?" she counters. "Come eat lunch with us. Save me from Kaylie and Austin and their stupid couple stories. It was cute for maybe the first ten seconds, but now—"

"I, um, maybe next time," he says lamely. Kelly frowns. "No, I mean it. I just remembered I have physical therapy. That's why I walked out. Not you." He's such a bad liar and he knows she knows it. "Next time, okay? I promise."

"Okay."

He waves awkwardly and heads to imaginary physical therapy. He needs time to process, away from how it distracts him, seeing her pleading eyes and how her teeth play with her bottom lip. He can't let himself get swept up in her again. It does intrigue him, how she _apologized_, how she's hanging out with Kaylie, how she's sorta almost blonde. And yet she's still Kelly Parker. And she still has power over him.

…

"I don't want you either."

The words slice right through her, but Kelly's face never shows it. It's been a few days since she chased after him. She honestly started to give up hope.

"Okay?"

"I mean, not _like that_," Nicky says. "I can't go back to that. Not after you…"

"Understandable." Kelly nods. "But that doesn't mean we can't be friends, right? You wouldn't be talking to me right now if you didn't think we could."

"Maybe," he says. "All I know is I don't want to be with you. I can't. Honestly, I don't even know if I can trust you again…but I can try?"

She likes how that sounds, him trying. Kelly knows her words can't do much in terms of convincing him further. She just gives him a smile, holds out her container of grapes (an olive branch of sorts) and watches as he takes a few and hesitantly smiles back.

Boy declares a truce with girl. The wall crumbles. Line redrawn.

They start small. Meals together. Sometimes he doesn't talk because that's just how he is and when Kaylie tries to get him to talk because that's just how she is, Kelly will bring up a different topic to distract them. Kaylie asks all the time, but Kelly never budges. She's willing to tell Kaylie a lot, but never anything involving Nicky. That's all kept under lock and key.

Kelly really doesn't mind being friends with Kaylie Cruz. At first, Kelly thought that maybe Kaylie would understand her. With her anorexia, Kaylie should know what the darkness feels like and yet Kaylie is able to go on with her life, having divorced parents who still get along and the perfect boyfriend. Kaylie defeated her dragon and has a shot at the ideal, fairy tale ending. Kelly is chained to her dragon and she lives the best she can.

…

Nicky's never thought about it before, how usually, when you like someone, you want to get to know them and learn everything you can about their life before you met. However, with Kelly, they've run parallel all their lives. It's the times in between each peak that intrigue him.

Not that he likes Kelly Parker _again _or anything. He isn't that big of a sucker.

(Yes, he does. Yes, he is.)

They've never had anything less than pre-prepared meals their entire lives so it's only obvious that the first time they try to cook ends in disaster. The entire dorm fills with smoke and the alarm goes insane. Meanwhile, Nicky and Kelly argue over whom to blame. The Rock girls walk in and they look pissed, but Nicky finds the whole thing sort of funny and Kelly does too.

He asks her if she wants to go grab something to eat off campus and Kelly readily agrees. They find this Tex-Mex place not too far away and as they laugh about the looks on Lauren and Payson's faces, Nicky tells himself this isn't a date as much as he wants it to be.

…

Nicky is just stupid when it comes to girls. He doesn't get that a significant percentage of the females at the TC find his general awkwardness "cute" and want to take him back to their dorms and make him their bitch. He just doesn't see it and maybe that's sort of cute too. What isn't cute is how forward whores can be.

Jordan Randall sees him reading _The 40 Laws of Power_ and asks if he's read _The Art of War_ and they end up talking about Sun Tzu for hours. Kelly is irritated because Jordan is a bitch and a snitch and Nicky has a lot of useful info. Also, maybe Nicky _smirks_ as Jordan strokes his ego and preys on his intellect and it's gross how much he enjoys it. Kelly has no problem letting her disapproval show.

The next day, while she's sitting, eating lunch with Kaylie, Nicky comes up behind her, leans close to her ear and whispers, "_Jordan Randall_ also reads _The Notebook_."

Kelly tosses her head back with a laugh and when Nicky steals grapes from her plate, she doesn't stop him.

Wendy Capshaw bakes him cookies. Oh, sorry! Glutton free, allergy-friendly vegan cookies! Fuck Wendy and her naïve enthusiasm and fuck Nicky and his oblivion, just stuffing his mouth as Wendy bats her lashes at him.

When Nicky offers her a cookie, Kelly scoffs and knocks his hand away, sending a perfectly good cookie to the ground. By his expression you'd think she slapped him across the face.

"It's annoying when you're jealous," he tells her.

Kelly laughs. "Ew. You wish."

"Parks, you don't have anything to be jealous of."

"I'm not jealous!"

Nicky shakes his head and smiles. Damn it. He really does have a great smile.

…

Kelly gets so excited over her mom coming to visit. Apparently, Sheila's gotten better since Worlds. Nicky doubts it, but he doesn't comment, enjoying how happy possibility makes her. Nicky doesn't bother inviting his dad and assumes they're both content with that.

…

Just as the excitement of Family Week dies down, Kelly sneaks into his room and slips into his bed. He's already asleep when she curls up next to him and brings his arm around her. Nicky stirs and blinks confusedly, but Kelly just motions for him to be quiet, reminding him Austin's asleep across the room.

They don't do anything. Nicky just goes back to sleep with her in his arms and Kelly tries to sleep, finding comfort in his body heat and the sound of his breathing. She knows she's probably sending him mixed signals, but she's too selfish to deprive herself of him when she needs him most. Her mom is a bitch and she's sad and she isn't about to ask Kaylie to cuddle.

When Kelly wakes up in the morning, she's still under the covers while Nicky lies atop, reading a book, wearing these glasses that make him look so dorky. He doesn't ask her why she ended up in his bed. He can probably guess anyways. Nicky just smiles and motions to the coffee on the bedside table.

"Apparently, the guy who let you in last night was telling everyone that you're the Golden Couple Homewrecker, assuming you were here for _The Austin Tucker_ and not, well, me. But Austin set them straight. Then some random guy comes up to me when I went to get coffee this morning and complimented me on 'my game,' whatever that means."

Kelly giggles and scoots closer to him. "You're welcome."

…

When girls start dropping left and right and Kelly freaks out over her lack of progress, Kaylie calls him in for backup. It's a strange realization, that he's her go-to person and everyone knows it. Coach McIntyre starts sizing him up in the same way he does with Austin. It's awkward and wordless. Austin slaps his back after and chuckles. "Welcome to the club."

But Kelly and him haven't even kissed. Forget about talking about it.

And Nicky is fine with going as slow as need be. The only thing he's sure about is that he is indeed slowly falling all over again. His head says it's stupid, but his heart says it's inevitable.

…

Kelly wakes up to the sound of Kaylie clunking around in their room and when she starts to move she feels a hard chest against her back. Her eyes flutter open and she turns to find Nicky asleep with his arm over her. It's something that's been becoming more and more common. Whose room they end up in is just unimportant detail.

More clunking. Kaylie's sending out a message, judging from across the room.

"Nick, wake up." Kelly nudges his leg with her foot. He's still in his jeans from last night. His hoodie too. Nicky stretches and pulls her closer, snuggling up to her. Despite Kaylie's passive aggressive smoke signals Kelly takes a second and enjoys the closeness.

"Morning," Nicky whispers into her hair.

"Good morning!" Kaylie shouts.

"Seriously, Cruz, inside voices!" Kelly yells back. Nicky quickly moves away from her and Kelly doesn't like that. He jolts awake when he realizes they aren't alone.

"Morning?" Nicky says again. His voice is different. Kelly likes that, though. He has this tone reserved for Kelly, sweeter than when he talks to anyone else. "I, um, I should probably…"

"Sleep in your own room?" Kaylie suggests. She's being playful, but Nicky misses it, too embarrassed. Kelly is somewhere between amused and annoyed.

"I'll remember that." Nicky looks to Kelly like he's going to say something as she combs her fingers through her hair and yawns. He decides against it and just leaves.

Once he's gone, Kaylie asks, "Sooo? I got in last night and you two were already passed out like that. If it weren't so cute and innocent I probably would have woken him up and kicked him out. What happened to the No Overnight Guests in Our Room rule?"

Kelly rolls her eyes. "I made that up with you and your _boyfriend_ specifically in mind."

"And Nicky isn't your _boyfriend_?" Kaylie asks. The idea of it, Kelly doesn't even let herself consider it. Ever. Kaylie apparently misses the apprehension on Kelly's face, continuing, "You don't want him to say _I love you_ or for him to meet your…"

Kaylie's voice trails off. Even she can put two and two together. Sheila would ruin it, tear him up and eat her alive.

"I'm not a fairy tale, Kaylie." Kelly clenches her jaw and resists the, _I'm not like you_. "I just…sometimes it's nice to be held and Nick holds me."

Kelly is happy when Kaylie doesn't press her further. She doesn't want to say it aloud, but she knows there's no love in it. There could have been, maybe, once upon a time, but she messed up. The more she thinks about it, the odds were against them from the start.

…

Nicky kisses her and he doesn't really know _how _it happened, just that they were talking and laughing and then he just does it. And it feels _amazing_ and _right_ in the three seconds it lasts. It only takes three seconds for Kelly to shove him away. Then the mortification kicks in.

"Don't," is all she tells him. Then she walks away. She stops answering his texts and calls and starts leaving rooms when he walks in.

His head tells him to leave. It worked once, twice. Third time's the charm? That's his default. It's all his mother ever taught him. But being at the TC is essential. He's stuck and anxious. She drives him crazy, but he can't help himself. If he's already made a fool out of himself in front of her a number of times, what difference would one more make?

…

Nicky Russo really is stupid. Why did he have to go and do that?

Things were great and then he goes and ruins it. She should have known better. They're on different fucking pages. That's why they have no future. He keeps trying to work through the book while she'd rather read the same chapter over and over. He'll hate her if he reads the footnote on her page stuck between pages.

While Kaylie's out, probably enjoying her perfect, uncomplicated couple time with her perfect, uncomplicated boyfriend, Kelly fishes out the journal stuck between her mattress and bed frame. She didn't have anyone to talk to for the longest time and so she wrote it down. Before she can get into it, the door noisily opens and Nicky walks in.

"You make me feel like my brain is on fire!" he yells. Not with anger, just a lot of frustration and drama (even if he doesn't even realize it) and maybe sadness. "Usually, I'd apologize for, for kissing you because that's what you do—that's what _I_ do—when wires get crossed, but I'm not going to this time because I meant it and I felt it. Don't tell me you didn't."

"Why do you do this to yourself? Why are you so willing to put up with me?"

"Because!" Nicky shouts. Like it should be obvious, but it isn't to her. Continuing in a much quieter voice, "Because I think I might love—"

"No, you can't." Her eyes double in size and she feels her body go into shock.

"You can't tell me what I feel just like I can't tell you what you feel. Kelly, I…I think I might."

"How do you even know? What does it even mean? To love someone? Me?" Kelly hisses. "For Austin and Kaylie, it means _saying it_ and him meeting her parents and they're like a rom-com come to life and it's cute and ideal, but for _me_, I don't think I'm capable of that."

"Kelly, Kaylie and Austin are freaks, but who cares?" he says. A step forward brings him closer. A step back and she maintains the distance. "As long as I feel it and you feel it and our definitions match up, then why does anyone else matter?"

He's so sweet and he makes it so hard for her to remember why she keeps pushing him away. But as her eyes move to the floor, she sees her flat stomach and she remembers.

"What if we don't match up, Nick?"

She refuses to look at him because she knows he's crushed.

"You don't like me?"

It pisses her off that he even has to ask. He should know even if she never gives him much to go off of. Kelly's eyes shoot to him and they burn. "Don't be an idiot. Of course, I like you."

"Then you just don't want me?" he asks. "Still."

"I can't be in a relationship right now. Not with you, not with anyone." Kelly moves towards him now and he doesn't move even though he looks like he'd rather not be near her. "Nick, we make such good friends. We crossed lines last time and everything got messed up. Can we not do that again?"

"That's what you want?"

"Yes."

"Okay," Nicky says. "Kiss me and tell me again." Kelly takes another step away and Nicky takes another forward. "Kiss me and if you can still tell me you just want to be friends then that's fine."

Kelly hesitates for obvious reasons. You can't strike a match and not expect fire.

"I promise," he says. "You know I keep my promises."

Kelly rolls her eyes and denies the way her fingertips shake, concealed in her tight fists. He moves towards her and she doesn't try to run. His fingers stroke her cheek and she just looks up at him, feeling so weak and trying so hard not to slip. Nicky waits for her to make a move.

She kisses him gently, barely any contact at all. She's ready to call it when Nicky's arm slides around her waist and he kisses her with so much emotion that Kelly can't help the sound she makes and the tight, twisting feeling she gets inside. They collide all over again.

They take turns initiating these hot, intense kisses, barely letting the other breathe between. Kelly doesn't really know who starts the touching, just that her hands push his shirt up and somehow she ends up with her back on the mattress and him between her legs. His calloused hand ghosts over her tummy and Kelly stops. She freezes up. Catatonic.

Nicky is the type that makes it about her just as much as him so when she stops responding, he doesn't keep going. He's blind so much of the time, but when it comes to her in this intimate space, he's too attentive and too receptive. She hates herself because she finally sees how fucking selfish she's been and how bad she let it get and how much she's led him on.

"I—I just want to be friends."

It takes all but three seconds for that confident guy who confessed his feeling for her and kissed her like a man to completely evaporate. Nicky carefully moves off of her and wipes her lipgloss from his lips with the back of his hand.

"Okay."

Girl destroys boy. Again.

…

The tables turn because it's Nicky avoiding her. They may be on the same campus, live in dorms seven minutes away and train in gyms that are back to back, but he finds a way to ensure they don't cross paths. He can't leave the TC, but he can leave her life like he's programmed to. Nicky takes all these careful, necessary measures to keep his distance, but it's all for nothing when he walks into his room one day and she's sitting on his bed.

"What are you doing here, Kelly?"

"Hi! Nick, I just want…I—I can't tell you, but…" Kelly lifts the leather-bound journal in her lap, opens it to a specific page and holds it out to him. "I have a horrible track record when it comes to journals and I doubt this is going to turn out any better and I won't blame you for hating me, but I think you deserve to know."

Nicky cautiously sits next to her, taking the book into his hands. Her handwriting is the first thing he notices. It's nice and girly. Second, he sees the way the ink smudges in certain spots and the paper crinkles, wet and dried over. He starts to read it and the horror quickly sets in.

"Is this a joke?" Nicky asks. By the time he reaches the end of the entry, his entire body is convulsing. "Because this isn't funny. Are Kaylie and Austin hiding in the closet, ready to jump out and laugh at me?"

Kelly narrows her eyes. "You think I'd joke about this?"

"Why didn't you tell me? What happened in Denver was…was because of this? All this time we've been hanging out and you knew and I…"

"Think about it, Nick. If you were me, how would you have told you? I just wanted to forget and I almost did, not having you around, focusing on gymnastics, but like you said, we've been hanging out and what happened between us the other day…"

"Can you leave, please?"

"Nick…"

"Please leave my room."

He hands the book back to her and Kelly takes it before she goes. Nicky paces around, drawing the lines between peaks, doing the math and putting the bigger picture together. When Austin comes in, over the moon in love like he always is, Nicky grabs his keys and just drives. He doesn't get too far from the TC before he has to pull over and park on the side of the road because the fucking tears were making it hard to see straight, let alone drive.

…

They both start avoiding each other. No more dinners out or sleepovers or conversations between training. Kelly paints on a smile and clings to Kaylie. Nicky has no one, but he's used to that already.

…

One day, it's Nicky sneaking into her room at night. Kaylie's out and it doesn't take a genius to figure out where she is and why Nicky has nowhere to go. Kelly's in bed when he knocks and she sits up and stares at him in disbelief. She's afraid that if she says something it might scare him away so she stays silent. Nicky waits for her permission and Kelly makes room on her bed for him. He crosses the room and unexpectedly wraps his arms around her, pressing his forehead into her shoulder.

"I don't hate you," he whispers. Kelly takes a deep breath, welcomes the relief. "But I don't know where we go from here, if there's anywhere to go with us."

Kelly nods, leaning into him. "I get it. I just don't like the idea of you not being apart of my life."

"Yeah, me neither," he says. "We'll figure it out. Right now, though, I'm just…exhausted."

Kelly nods and it surprises her when Nicky moves beneath the sheets and holds her. She thought he'd never want to touch her again, but if anything, Nicky holds her tighter.

"I wish I could've been there with you, Kel."

"I wish I would've let you."

…

When she gets cut from the team, Kelly is devastated. Nicky finds her just as she's about to leave the TC and he doesn't have any words to offer her. He just pulls her close and hugs her. Neither says anything. But they don't really need to either.

…

A fractured wrist takes him out right before the games. The bone is so out of place that it requires surgery. Dr. Russo is incessant about performing the surgery himself (emotional involvement never a hurdle) but Nicky personally requests a different doctor even if he's at his dad's hospital.

Kelly goes to see Nicky when he's in recovery and him on a combination of pain meds makes it fun for her. When he thanks her for visiting and kisses her cheek, Kelly just rolls her eyes. It's not like she can hit him or anything. He's in the friggin' hospital.

…

As the gold rests against Payson's chest, the ribbon strung around her neck, the TV suddenly goes blank. Nicky turns in time to see Kelly toss the controller onto the coffee table.

"Hey! I was watching that."

She just stares at him and Nicky inwardly curses, realizing how painful it must have been for her to have to watch. Before he can ask if she wants to talk about it, Kelly kills the space between them and presses her mouth to his. It feels like the night after her dad's second wedding all over again. Nicky carefully pries her off.

"Kel, I don't think—"

"Can you please just do this for me?" she asks. She says _please_. He hesitates. Kelly licks her soft lips and touches his thigh. "Please? Distract me."

Nicky does what's asked of him and kisses her like he's wanted to all summer. It's all friction between body parts and probably too much tongue and moans in the quiet of his bedroom. The longest she pulls away is to ask if he has condoms. After everything that's happened, everything he knows, of course he does.

"Fuck," Nicky hisses against her lips. Her fingers are wrapped around his wrist splint, pinning him down against the mattress. "That hurt."

"Yeah, I know."

Her entire body trembles as she straddles him and Nicky pretends not to notice and lets her do what she wants. He gives her the control she lost in Colorado Springs. Every kiss is rough, almost violent, trying to burn away all the unused energy and burn out all her feelings of disappointment. Nicky looks at her like she could never disappoint him and that's exactly what she needs right now.

The next time, Austin is up, flashing a peace sign (that's really saying: _yes, I've been to the Olympics _twice_ and brought home gold _twice_ while Nicky Russo watches from home_), but Nicky isn't paying attention. His lips are preoccupied with every inch of Kelly's neck. He's soft and gentle and loving. Kelly can't complain. It's like running a burn under cool water. They cuddle the shit out of each other for hours afterwards. Nicky gets what he wants—comfort.

This is fucked up and they're both aware they're probably fucking up _again_, but it feels good.

Loser to loser.

…

She's scared.

Kelly Fucking Parker is scared.

She's been here before. Pregnancy test. Two pink lines. Positive. Fuck. She spends a fleeting moment, wondering if his dad got his mom knocked up this easily. They made sure to be careful this time around. Well, there was that time the condom broke post-Welcome Back Olympians party. Fuck.

Now, it seems boy gets girl pregnant. Again. Double fuck.

Kelly holds off telling Nicky because she knows that when she does, he'll run, because that's what he does. She tells her mom first and Sheila yells at her, less "beauty" and "angel" more "stupid" and "careless." Sheila tells her they're getting this taken care of again and Kelly won't do it without having a say this time. Sheila kicks her out and Kelly willingly leaves.

When she walks up to his doorstep in tears, Dr. Parker immediately hugs his daughter and whispers, "Welcome home."

…

Kelly blurts out that she's pregnant when they're driving around, doing errands. Nicky finds out that he's going to be a dad in the parking lot of a public library. He honestly wants to cry, but manages to hold back. Kelly looks so tired, like she's all cried out. They sit there for almost half an hour, processing.

"So, what do you want to do?" Nicky asks. "What should _we_ do?"

"You're not the one whose body goes through hell with every option," Kelly snaps. Before he can respond, Kelly scoops up his hand. She's harsh, but also glad he isn't crying or running and he can tell just from how their fingers are laced. "I—I don't know if I can do that again…"

"Okay."

Even more silence and processing follow.

"Okay," Nick says again, with more certainty. "Then we'll keep it—uh, him or her."

Kelly loudly smacks the back of his hand that she's holding and Nicky winces. "We aren't talking about a stray cat! I'm having a baby, Nick. I'm a lame-ass made-for-TV movie!"

"_We're_ having a baby, Kel. And I doubt anyone would want to see our lives on cable television," he says. His thumb traces her knuckles.

She shakes her head hard. "It shouldn't be this easy to decide."

"Do you really want to make it difficult?" Nicky mimics her from a time that feels so far away. Kelly gently caresses the back of his hand, turning red from how she hit him. "You're Kelly Fucking Parker. You know you can and will. The only thing is…what about gymnastics? I don't want you hating me and our kid for stopping you from reaching your dream."

"Me and dad had a long talk about that last night," Kelly says. If they weren't having such a serious moment she'd probably be amused by how uncomfortable Nicky is at the mention of her dad. "Maybe it's time for a new dream…"

…

They tell his dad together. A word stronger than awkward has to be invented just to accurately describe it. The only way it could have been worse is if Dr. Russo asked for details of their relationship, which they aren't even sure is a real relationship.

In the few minutes that it takes Kelly to go to the bathroom and return, Dr. Russo manages to get two points across to his son: 1) you should be ashamed of yourself for ruining that girl's life and 2) I'm happy you didn't run. Good man.

…

"You aren't honestly wearing _that_ to dinner, are you?"

Nicky's brows lift in question. "What's wrong with this?"

"You look gross and smell like a gym bag." Kelly looks him up and down in his gym attire. "Nick, we're having dinner with my dad!"

"Kelly, I've met your dad before."

"Yeah, but back when I wasn't pregnant and you weren't the one who made it happen," she points out. Very valid points too. "You don't need to put on a suit and tie. Ew, don't. Just get in the shower, lose the gross hoodie and for God's sake, change your shirt!"

Kelly urgently flashes the clock on her phone at him. Instead of arguing, Nicky pushes off his zip-up hoodie and peels his shirt off, all rippling muscles and hard, tight abs, physical perfection that doesn't need sacrificing. Kelly hates him. She really does.

"Drooling, Parks." Nicky playfully reaches for her face and she smacks him away.

"Envy, not lust," Kelly says. "Come on, Nick! You have ten minutes! Hurry up!"

He starts walking to the bathroom, but then turns back and grins at her. "When it's time to get the kid up for school in the mornings, that's your job. Meanwhile, I'll be in the kitchen, packing sandwiches for lunch."

Kelly rolls her eyes and ignores how it kind of excites her that he has a whole future envisioned for them even if he's joking around.

(He isn't.)

…

Dr. Parker doesn't go easy on them. They explained how Dr. Russo insists he pay for everything and Kelly (who's been staying with her dad and not talking to her mom) plans to move in with Nicky. Dr. Russo is stuck in his cycle of shoving money, not affection, at his son, something he's always done, but Nicky isn't complaining either.

"So you're basically playing house?" Dr. Parker asks. His wife scolds him with her eyes, but the man just watches Nicky from across the table as if they're playing chess and it's his move.

Kelly glares. "_Dad_."

"No, actually, I've been talking to Marty about working for Denver Elite." Kelly loudly drops her fork against her plate. This is news to her. "He isn't getting any younger and he wants someone to take over one day, not let Ellen Beals run it into the ground. He offered me a job and I'm going to take it."

"No," Kelly says. "Don't be stupid. Men have longer careers than women, more opportunity to make it. Your body isn't going to change beyond recognition. Don't give up your dream for this."

"Kel, I don't appreciate you referring to our baby as _this_."

She refuses to fall for him trying to be cute. "Ten years from now, I don't want you resenting me and our kid because we're the reason you never made it to the Olympics. You still have a shot."

"I'm not giving up my dream. I'm building a new one. With you," Nicky says. When his awkwardness kicks in, he clears his throat and adds, "Um, regardless of if we're together or not, we're family."

Forgotten on the other side of the table, Dr. Parker exchanges smiles with his wife like they know a secret and Kelly would probably call them out on it if she weren't too busy staring at Nicky. All she wants to do is make out with him. No doubt she will and blame the hormones later.

…

Nicky has no problem hanging out with Kelly's little stepsiblings. He fails miserably at interacting with people his own age, but adults and little kids he can manage. Kelly is wholly uncomfortable around them. She never says it, but he can tell that she's afraid parenting style is genetic and she doesn't have a maternal bone in her body.

To somewhat ease their worries, they take parenting classes that just make them both feel further inadequate. All the other couples are mid-to-late twenties and older. When she gets that wide-eyed deer-in-headlights look, Nicky gently nudges her back to reality and playfully says the over-cheery soon-to-be mother in the front row can probably beat her at the hands-on practice. He lights the competitive fire in her and when their instructor compliments Kelly's effort and attention to detail at the end of class, she kisses Nicky's cheek and he smirks.

…

"Wow, you are _so_ pregnant."

"Shut up, Kaylie." Kelly rolls her eyes at Kaylie Cruz and her perfect, slim figure and how she's yet to grow out of her need to wear pink everything. It is nice to see her, though.

"So you guys are having a baby _and_ living together. Should I expecting a Save the Date in the mail any time soon?"

Kelly sighs loudly. "Remind me, why was I so desperate to be your friend?"

Kaylie grins. "Come on, KP. I want details. It's like you're living a whole different life. Are you…are you happy?"

Kelly doesn't get asked that a lot so she never thinks too hard about it. She can pinpoint specific moments where she loves where she's at—shopping for baby things with her dad and stepmom, watching Nicky fail trying to put a crib together—but the other half of the time, when it's just her alone with her thoughts, she freaks the fuck out.

"Every day's different, but most of the time, yeah, I'm happy. Nick, he's great," she says. "Other times I get angry at him for things he hasn't even done."

"Like not unloading the dishwasher?"

"Like leaving me."

Kelly wants to laugh at how dramatic she sounds and especially Kaylie's expression. Crap. Her emotions are all over the fucking map.

"I'm a mess—what else is new—but like I said, Nick is great." Kelly stares down at her plate for a couple seconds, but then she's hit with an amusing thought. "I don't know how I don't gross him out, but we're still totally having sex."

Kaylie waits for Kelly to say she's kidding, but doesn't and isn't. Kaylie then bursts out in laughs that Kelly joins in on.

"How does that _work_ exactly?" Kaylie asks.

Kelly just smiles and calls her friend a nosy bitch.

…

"Nick, are you awake?"

"Am now," he mutters from his side of the bed. Kelly turns onto her side, facing him and Nicky does the same, facing her. He moves his hand to her hip and Kelly places hers over his. "What's wrong?"

"I want you to promise me something," she says. "Knowing us, fighting and arguing over everything is unavoidable, but even when you get sick of me you can't leave our kid, okay? I don't think I can do this without you."

"Duh." He tries to be playful, but just sounds sleepy. "I'm not leaving either of you. I promise. Now, try to get some sleep. I wanna go get pancakes for breakfast."

His fingers feather through her hair and sort of massage her scalp for a second. He's still half-asleep, but it doesn't make him any less sincere. Kelly fixes the pillows around her and moves closer to Nicky, falling asleep with their baby between them.

…

Nicky figured that Marty extended the job offer to him as a way to keep him in Denver, be sure that Kelly is being supported and maybe hint that gymnastics could still be in his future even if the Olympics isn't. Taking the job felt like a good idea until he realized how much work it actually is to keep the place running. It's exhausting, especially dealing with people. Then he goes home to find Kelly on the brink of an emotional overload every other day.

"Don't tell me to calm down, Nick! I used to live at DE and now, the one time I get as close as the parking lot, I see you friggin' _flirting_ with _whores in leotards _who are ready and willing to bang you! Freaking leos, Nick! And I used to be ready and willing and wear leos, but _no_ because I'm _fat_ and _pregnant_ and it's your fault! You're about to be a dad! You can't do that!"

"What do you want me to do, Kelly? Not talk to any other girls, except you, ever?"

"Yes!"

"Okay!"

Instead of tearing him apart, Kelly stops herself, taken aback. That was way too easy.

"What?"

Nicky lifts one shoulder and lets it fall. "It's not like I'm actively preying on these quote/unquote _whores in leotards_. How unprofessional is that? The only reason I talk to anyone there is for work stuff. Otherwise, I'm all yours, Parks."

"Really?"

"Really." He wraps his arms around her. "And you aren't _fat_. My kid's just healthy."

She laughs and hugs him back. Nicky has learned to never call her out on the severity of her mood swings. It's probably best for both of them if he doesn't. "Good," Kelly says, "but, uh, just because we're having a baby doesn't mean we have to be together."

His hold on her lessens, but Kelly clings to him tighter. It's always fucking mixed signals with her. She still drives him crazy.

"Okay?" Nicky says. She rests her head on his chest so he can't see her face. "Sure. If that's what you want? I'm all yours until you have the baby and then I'm all his or hers."

Kelly nods. "Okay."

…

A lot of their "family time" is spent on the couch, arguing over baby names, watching bad TV ("We weren't really missing much, stuck in the gym all the time") and Nicky feeding Kelly spoonfuls of ice cream straight from the carton. They're doing exactly that when Kaylie calls and asks if they know if the baby is a boy or girl yet.

Licking the rocky road ice cream from his lips, Nicky leans towards the phone and shouts, "No pink, Kaylie! We're raising our daughter in a gender neutral environment!"

Kelly starts to slap him away and in turn he starts to tickle her and threaten to get ice cream all over her. The phone falls between them, forgotten, even though Kaylie's squeals can easily be heard from the other end.

…

Kelly is dramatic on the drive to the hospital, freaking out like they do in movies, but once they get there and realize she's still in early labor, it's a lot of waiting around. At least, thanks to their doctor dads, they get a private room. Kelly's stepmom bought her a baby book and to kill time they go through it, filling out the pages they can, construct a family tree and learn more about each other.

"I have no idea about my grandparents on my mom's side," Nicky says. "My dad never really told me and I just assumed it was wrong to ask."

"What are we going to do about her grandma? My mom?" Kelly asks. "I want our daughter to know her grandparents, but my mom…"

"Is crazy?" Nicky finishes for her. No argument there. "I don't know. Some people change, some people don't. Maybe Sheila can? Or maybe she'll plot to kidnap our daughter and try to get a creepy pageant child reality show."

"Okay, too much bad TV for you. You were better off stopping at the part where you were being strangely optimistic." Kelly suddenly latches onto Nicky's forearm and squeezes, waiting as a mild contraction passes. She does this every time. It helps him time them. As her grip loosens on him, Nicky tugs the baby book into his lap.

"Mommy's full name is Kelly Anne Parker," Nicky reads, "but everyone calls her _Kelly Fucking Parker_."

"We are _not_ putting that in her baby book!" Kelly shouts. She steals it back and writes in _KP_. Nicky rolls his eyes. He's never once called her that and doesn't plan to. He steals the pen and writes in _Parks_ next to it.

"Mommy has many special talents and interests," he recites. Then, adds, "Gymnastics, Kaylie Cruz worship, making people cry, getting daddy to drive all the way to the store in the middle of the night for Kraft mac 'n cheese and Cap'n Crunch."

"I hope our daughter is the same way," Kelly says cheekily. She looks at the next page. "Some of daddy's best friends are—oh, wait, I almost forgot…"

"Shut up." Nicky smiles from beside her, watching as Kelly continues to fill the lines with her neat cursive. She writes _Uncle Marty_ and Nicky laughs aloud. That's so sad. "You know, Parks, I think you're my best friend."

Kelly stops what she's doing and looks at him with such soft, appreciative eyes. Then she purposefully ruins it by saying, "Well, for mine we're putting Kaylie. You're just some guy who knocked me up."

She grins at him and Nicky playfully glares, threatening to add "Mega Bitch" to her nicknames.

…

The girl becomes a mom.

The boy becomes a dad.

The line does not exist.

…

"I'm pretty sure you'd take the gold for most curse words utters during delivery." Nicky sits at Kelly's bedside and can't stop beaming, watching an exhausted Kelly, with no make up and matted hair, holding their daughter. The nurse nearby, checking charts, smiles to herself.

"Shut up, Nick."

Nicky leans in and kisses her forehead despite the way Kelly shifts away, thinking she's gross. "Hey, Kel?"

"What?"

"I love you."

Leaning back in her hospital bed, bleary eyes turned to him, Kelly didn't think she'd ever hear it from him after everything that's happened, but she'll take it. "Hey, Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"I still don't want you flirting with anyone else, whores in leotards or otherwise." The nurse frowns at Kelly's language, but Nicky just grins because it's so _her_. Kelly even might whisper _I love you too_, but softly, just for him and their baby, right before he kisses her lips.

In Denver, a baby girl is dressed in white, cradled in the arms of her mother as her father sits close, less than an arm's length away. She looks up at her parents, the young couple, scared shitless, but happy and exhausted and with purpose. She may not have a name yet (they still can't agree) but in the baby book they predict she'll have Nicky's ears and Kelly's eyes.

* * *

A/N: Nicky would never call her KP! Anyways, yeah, sometimes I let this ship get out of control. Lol. Like, it was supposed to end all sad at the TC and then I somehow wrote another 3,000 words. Oh well. Go big or why post, right?

Happy weekend! I hope this made up for no #WeFaB because, err, I was writing this and LCTD is somewhere, wreaking havoc, legally wasted.

If not to tell me how my imaginary ship love is out of hand then how're you liking the season so far? I'm curious. Review.

xoxo


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